Why I Said No to an Extra $180,000 in Wealth (And Why I’d Do It Again)
Nov 19, 2025I had an interesting email exchange recently.
Someone—smart, kind, thoughtful—ran numbers for me on a cash-out refinance. She made a very compelling case.
Her math was flawless.
Her logic was airtight.
And if I were still playing the wealth-accumulation game… she would have been 100% right.
But here’s the thing…
I’m not playing that game anymore.
She showed me two scenarios:
Scenario 1: Keep my rental debt-free.
Over five years:
– About $150k in cash flow
– About $52k in appreciation
– Total: around $202k in added wealth.
Scenario 2: Refi, pull out $200k, buy more rentals.
Over five years:
– About $190k in cash flow
– About $193k in appreciation
– Total: around $383k.
Her conclusion was simple:
“By not refinancing, you’re giving up around $180,000.”
And here’s the truth…
She wasn’t wrong.
Not even a little.
If the goal is to maximize return on equity… she’s right.
If the goal is to grow fast… she’s right.
If the goal is to accumulate more… she’s right again.
And I genuinely appreciate the time she put in to help me think it through.
But I wrote her back with this:
I’m just playing a different game.
I’ve done over 600 deals.
I’ve played the leverage game.
I’ve scaled.
I’ve refinanced.
I’ve chased the “more.”
And at one point, I was carrying $4.5 million in debt—when houses were much cheaper than they are today.
I played the game well…
But it came at a cost.
Not financially.
Relationally.
Emotionally.
Spiritually.
Debt was a drag on my soul.
It kept me up at night.
And it slowly pulled my eyes away from God and onto the next deal, the next payment, the next “win.”
The more I accumulated, the more the bar moved.
And my wife and kids paid the price.
Today, I’m a Lifeonaire.
My portfolio is small, simple, and debt-free.
I don’t sweat when a tenant is late.
I don’t owe anyone anything.
I don’t live with a spreadsheet in my head.
And I make decisions through one lens:
Freedom.
I want to serve God, not money.
I want to be the best husband and dad I can be.
I want peace, not pressure.
Simplicity, not stress.
Presence, not endless pursuit.
So can I justify spending $10,000–$12,000 to get money I already earned?
Not anymore.
Could it grow my wealth?
Absolutely.
But here’s the better question:
At what cost?
More mental bandwidth.
More management.
More responsibility.
More promises to lenders.
More of my future spoken for.
Every loan comes with a silent partner:
your time.
your attention.
your freedom.
And I’m not signing those away.
This isn’t about right or wrong.
There IS no debate.
This is simply about what game you’re playing.
If your goal is wealth, play that game.
If your goal is freedom, build for freedom.
If your goal is an abundant life, don’t let money be your master.
I’ve made my choice.
And I’m free.
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